Friday, January 29, 2010

A sign

Last week, I did some traveling.

As a rule, I would like to believe that I support my friends; that I would do whatever I can when they ask me for something. That when they ask me to be present at a meeting, or a seminar, I would attend and agree to their request without having to think about it.

But then, when push comes to shove, and the facebook messages start piling up, what really happens?

I wait. I deliberate. I try to figure out ways of being that good friend, but not being there, in a vulnerable position where others are able to ask questions of me--especially about my life Now.

But in the end, all that took was a deadline. Being told that I had to give a definite answer by a certain date, and feeling that if my presence was enough to warrant a strict deadline, there was no way I could avoid it and still save face.

So I informed my friend, on the deadline, that I was going.

And now, of course, I'm so thankful for that. Attending allowed me to support a great, wonderful, energetic young woman and provided for me the opportunity to connect to all those lovely people who, it turns out, I was more than willing to talk about my 'Now' with. Saying 'yes' to my friend's request gave me the chance to remember how much I have shared in the past with so many people, and how great it is to hear kind words straight out of the mouths of friends, who happen to be standing exactly two feet away from me.

And when I got home, after exuberant travels, what did I find? Nothing except for the Food section of the News and Observer, exactly in the path of my walk. And do you know what was so great about it? That all I found was one page, of nothing but recipes, food questions, and advice about cooking.  Which, I may add, I wouldn't have found if I hadn't traveled away from home, come home and spent time thinking about the future, and then deciding a walk might help me to see things clearer.

And it did.